The 35 Strangest AFL jumpers: 5 I can’t believe I missed

5. Collingwood black IMG_0887 In 2001 Collingwood threw out over 100 years of tradition and changed their jumper from being a white jumper with black stripes to a black jumper with white strips. Whats the difference you might think? Well not a great deal really, so why did they bother? One reason offered is that the sponsors logos looked better on black background. I don’t know about this but it’s as good as any explanation I’ve heard. The Magpies change to a predominantly black jumper seems to have thrown up additional clashing issues with clubs with mainly dark strips such as Port Adelaide. The age old doosie jumper clash of North Melbourne v Collingwood has had many different, needless and ludicrous ‘solutions’ one of which was this ‘black with a pair of white braces’ number the Pies ran out with in 2011 and 2012.

4. Melbourne silver Dunn_Rd1808_246_a When in doubt – add silver. Melbourne’s forays into clash jumpers have been fraught with danger but even the Demon’s plumbed new depths when they produced this clash jumper in 2008. Perhaps not enough silver was the issue. One of the Dee’s  following efforts at a clash jumper, as modeled below in 2010,  was a slight improvement but made the Demon look like a Phantom of the Opera mask.

I am the Phantom of the Opera! No I am the Phantom of the Opera
I am the Phantom of the Opera! No I am the Phantom of the Opera

2. St Kilda fading away

Xav and Raph Clarke model the 'candy stripe' jumper. Particularly pleasing on the eye in a long sleeve variety
Xav and Raph Clarke model the ‘candy stripe’ jumper. Particularly pleasing on the eye in a long sleeve variety

St Kilda ditched their failry well liked clash jumper known as the candy stripe jumper in favor of a jumper dubbed “The Apron.” The Saints went for an all white look with the red and black ribbons looking like the draw strings of an apron. The club shield on the front was a welcome addition except that the saints had decided top make it look like the logo was peeling off. Why? Were they fading away? Hardly the strong bold image a football club would want to project I wouldn’t have thought.

Woah this logo is slippin away from me.
Woah this logo is slippin away from me.

3. Hall of Fame white

Nothing says All Star like Neon Leon Davis and his great Grand Final record.
Nothing says All Star like Neon Leon Davis and his great Grand Final record.

This one really challenges for the blandest football jumper ever created and I don’t know how I missed it. The reason  was vague – 150 years since Tom Wills wrote a letter in a pub and thus Australian Football was born  [according to Chanel 10] or something like that. The concept was vague –  ‘The Hall of Fame Tribute Match’ played as Victoria against The Rest known as the All Stars. And the outfit was beige – decked out all in white in the sort of outfit never before seen on any football ground in the 150 year history of Australian Rules football except on umpires. To top it all off the bottom half of the jumper was afflicted by that modern day scourge of football jumpers – a list of names (the names of every football club in Australia apparently). The affect was to make the white jumper look beige. IMG_0907   IMG_0911 1. Western Bulldogs sell out

State of Origin? No, Origin Energy.
State of Origin? No, Origin Energy. Sam Power, left, made the promo photo shoot of course.

Give me strength, quite possibly the shittest AFL jumper ever. Nonsense sponsor jumpers are barley tolerable if they are confined to the pre-season competition. But over the past decade or more a disturbing trend has emerged where eye-sore mish mash jumpers that shouldn’t have been given the tick of approval even for pre-season experimentation have appeared as away jumpers or clash jumper in the AFL season proper. This is right up their as one of the worst pre-season jumper ever conceived and unfortunately it saw time on AFL field in the 2005 home and away season. Disgusting, I hope the Doggies made plenty of cash out of it.

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Ross Slater

Blogging about the important things - AFL and cricket

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