The 35 strangest AFL jumpers: 5-1

Some AFL jumpers are good, some are bad and some are downright ugly. Here are the 35 strangest.

5. Port Adelaide – white lightning

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Peter Burgoyne and Chad Cornes model one of Port’ Adelaide’s many jumper atrocities.

It was teal all over the back and white on the front with teal and black caligraphy pen triangles to represent lightning. It was brilliant, it was Port Adelaide’s cash jumper in 2009. Take an opportunity to pause and take in the sheer brilliance of the jumper by staring at Dean Brogan below.

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Dean Brogan’s mind wandered to the place it always wandered – thoughts of retirement if he had to wear this jumper again.

4. Adelaide – murder of crows

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Tom Lynch: Where’s the murder? I’m slaying these Giants. Tom Lynch celebrates after kicking one of his many goals against GWS.

Adelaide have come up with some stunningly strange designs over the last 10 years but this one takes the biscuit. This season’s away jumper is said to be a ‘Murder of Crows’ with the design on the front said to be composed of various crows placed on top of one another. What it looks like to me is three splashes of paint across a white canvas but art is open to interpretation. Interpret away!

3. West Coast – ochre

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Andrew Williams models the ochre jumper in all its glory so well.

Ochre….. why? From 2000 to 2002 West Coast ran with this number as thier away jumper – a stylised Eagle with some burnt orange fading to yellow. And that was just the front! Check out the yellow to red on the side and then the strange colour gradient change from red to light blue across the back as per below and red numbers.

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Ben Cousins and Chris Judd put Richmond’s Steven Sziller (remember him?) in an Eagle sandwich.

And now back to the front for your viewing pleasure.

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Center: Glen Jakovic is inconsolable after have to don the ochre jumper again. Daniel Metropolis (left) and Andrew Embley (right) offer support
2. Brisbane Bears – cerise

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Brad Hardie: Cerise! Cerise? What the fruit truck is cerise?

The Brisbane Bears joined the expanded VFL in 1987 and along with the West Coast Eagles chose yellow as their main colour. Being Queensland based Brisbane choose the traditional Queensland colour of maroon to match the yellow. Somewhere along the line Brisbane decided to change from maroon to cerise – a colour I have never heard of before but I suppose could be best described as ‘light maroon.’

The are some other unusual things about he Brisbane Brears jumper beside the cerise. One is the logo: a triangle and two capital Bs worked into the shape if a map if Queensland. But the pice de resistance was a koala bears head appearing like a set of Mickey Mouse ears over Toowoomba.

Second was the mini logo on the sleeve of a long sleeve jumper. I think this is the only jumper in VFL/AFL history to have a logo on the long sleeve version.

As below the colour inverted jumper used as an away jumper in 1991 was marginally better.

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Rodeney Eade (obscured) and Rod Lester Smith celebrate a premiership forged in cerise, the 1991 reserves flag.

1. Port Adelaide – real lightning & real teal training jumper.

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Matthew Primus:I can’t believe we lost that game. Warren Tredrea: I can’t believe how bad I look on the big screen in this jumper.

Port Adelaide kept going to the well for clash jumper designs and kept coming back with teal and lightning bolts. This jumper featured the most realistic lightning over a back ground of teal (of course) and silver triangles (why not?) It gave the effect of lightning cracking over a brick courtyard.

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Peter Borguyne: The jumper in all its glory and some mighty fine hair.

Judge: Port Adelaide Football Club you have charged with crimes against football jumpers. How do you plead: guilty or not guily?

Port Adeliade: Not guilty.

Judge: Your wrap sheet includes liberal use of teal and stylised lightning bolts. Explain yourself.

Port Adelaide: We were a new franchise struggling for identity and we had our tradiional balck and white jumper disallowed.

Judge: Hmm, I’m willing to withdraw the charges relating to lightning bolts but you used an all teal training jumper in a match against Collingwood in 2002. Not a jumper that looked like a training jumper but an actual training jumper. That is indefensible, I hereby sentence you to have all future jumpers designed by small children.

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Happy days at Port: Brent Guerra and Nick Stevens celebrate together before leaving the club. Kane Cornes is more circumspect.

 

Have I missed any? Let me know in the comments below.

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Ross Slater

Blogging about the important things - AFL and cricket

13 thoughts on “The 35 strangest AFL jumpers: 5-1”

    1. Joseph, thanks for the feedback. I like the simplicity of the current Melbourne calsh jumper but it is a very good point you raise – it’s basically a Swans jumper with a few navy blue lines. This will have to go into ‘The 5 I missed’ post coming soon.

  1. Just found your blog and I’m a big fan of this series – as an Eagles fan I approve of the Ochre being in the top 5, but I do feel the yellow Pura milk Saints jumper from your previous post deserves a crack in the top 5 – it’s horrendous.
    Very funny series, and I hope to see more soon.

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