Revising history, team lifters and three quarter time rev ups – footy news week 15

The highlight, The lowlight, The unbelievable, The boring.

All this wrapped into one section – it must be the 34 page AFL charge sheet on Essendon. No , it’s the other great literary work form the week, Darren Jolly’s article in The Age.

Jolly really struggles deciding which side of an argument he’s going to take. This time Jolly goes for a bit of revisionist history  and omits some key details about what happened in the lead up to the 2006 grand final.

“The Swans media guy asked my wife Dea and I if we would do an interview for a small story about having a baby and playing in a grand final. We weren’t all that keen, considering Dea was heavily pregnant, but we agreed.”

I have never been pregnant but I wasn’t aware that sitting and chatting and being preganant were mutually exclusive events If the journo had requested to force feed your wife oysters, blue cheese and bourbon I wouldn’t have been keen either but it was just an interview. Also if as you say you weren’t keen you could have said no to the interview request, but I think deep down you sort of liked the attention.

“By the time we got home, the photographer and journalist were waiting on our front door step.”

Those damn journo’s have the temerity to be punctual, how annoying!

“When the story landed on the front page the next day, it was a shock and it put extreme pressure on us right before I was about to play. The story read: “Jolly to miss grand final to be with his wife”. As this was never said, you can imagine how angry we were. It was a huge beat-up.”

Misquoted? Well that is a poor effort by the journo. Get the Swan’s media department to issue a press release. You don’t even have to write it – they’ll do it for you. All sorted, the “extreme pressure” has been released and you can get back to focusing on footy. Come on admit it a front page story that must have been cool.

“Somehow the media got wind that we were in hospital because they were stationed out the front, waiting to grab me for any information.”

Damn pesky media getting wind. Somehow Darren makes his wife giving birth all about himself. The media wanted me, come on admit it you liked the attention.

“One of them even had the nerve to ask if they could come into my wife’s room to take some photos. Another wrote a note to my wife while she in the delivery suite, asking if they could get an exclusive when she had delivered. It was a circus.”

The midwife wore giant shoes and a red nose, the doctor had a chair and a whip, the anethetist was a bearded lady. Oh a media circus. Also Nana rang she’d like her phrase ‘the nerve of them’ back.

So it seems Jolly thinks the media overstepped the mark, were intruding too much on his private life and he’d had enough of it all. I think that’s fair enough, I think I’d be pretty guarded with my interactions with journos from now on, probably politely decline interview requests and the like. Let’s move now to what happened when he flew to Melbourne

“I arrived in Melbourne to be greeted by a hundred reporters and cameras.”

Really? Exactly one hundred? Not a scrum of, not an uncounted number of  but  an even 100 reporters and cameras. Pray tell Darren what did you do next?

“Once I arrived at the hotel, I had a bite to eat went to bed.”

What? No, no, no, back up a second you’ve left something out there, you forgot to mention this:


Jolly was so pissed off with the media, the misquotes, the intrusion on his private life, the ludicrous requests, the nerve of them, that he decided to pose at the airport with a picture of his new born daughter on his cool flip phone. (I had to do a bit of digging to find this picture but here is the link) There he was more than happy to ham it up for the waiting media even after the “extreme pressure” the “beat up” and the “circus” they’d put him through. I would say the truth is somewhere along the lines of pre the 2006 Grand Final Jolly was happy and excited to go down “Media Street” (as Denis Pagan would say) but then it all blew up when he played a stinker in the Grand Final. Now seven years later he’s revised history with this version of events and conveniently omitted the picture that tells a thousand words. I will give him credit though for admitting that he played very poorly in the Grand Final.

Please write more articles Darren Jolly – they are so much fun to pull apart. I’d tell your ghost writer to do more research too and not trust everything you say.  Also good luck in the VFL.

VFL Watch

Port Melbourne power forward Adrian Bonnadio doesn’t kick goals he kicks team lifters. With his usual key forward partner and VFL leading goalkicker, Dean Galea, absent on the weekend due to injury it was up to ‘Big Bonners’ to shoulder the extra load. And he did so admirably, leading hard up the ground, taking marks with his vice like grip, crashing packs, tackling and bullocking his way through opponents. He was a particularly impressive in the first half of the game against Geelong where he kicked two team lifters. Alas it was not enough to get Port over the line in a see sawing affair. In a classic match that went right down to the wire, Geelong’s last quarter centre clearances, mainly from Taylor Hunt, and a late snap by Paul Chapman got the Cats over the line. Geelong’s dominance of the set plays highlighted the difference between an AFL reserves team and a VFL team. The full time professional footballers, Geelong are practicing their centre square set ups at 11am on a Wednesday morning whilst the VFL boys at Port Melbourne  are busy at their job, driving a forklift, running their own plumbing business, putting the had word on someone and closing the deal as a used car salesman, etc. The only sour note for the Cats was a painful looking popped shoulder to skipper, Troy Selwood. Port Melbourne will need to beat Coburg this weekend to secure a finals berth but should take comfort from the fact that they are one of only a couple of teams that can really test Geelong.

Melbourne rookie listed player James Magner racked up 51 possessions for the Casey Scorpions against the Bendigo Gold on the weekend. It could have been more if he hadn’t been benched in the last quarter. Curiously, Magner has played only 2 games for Melbourne this year despite their struggles. He was elevated off the Rookie list in 2012, played 17 games and acquitted himself fairly well as a midfielder/tagger. However he wasn’t put on the Demon’s main list at season’s end and returned to the rookie list for 2013. It was Round 18 before he was elevated to the senior side his season. Magner is one of the favourites to win the JJ Liston trophy, the league Best & Fairest award in the VFL.

Northern Blues Coach Luke Webster was having a bad day on Sunday. His team had only kicked 3 goals against Werribee up to three quarter time and appeared to be more interested in fighting than playing football at times when he went out to address his players on the field. It has become standard practice for most VFL teams to rope off their players and trainers on the ground at the quarter time breaks as fan are allowed onto the ground during the intervals. The Blues support staff managed to rope off only 2 sides of the team huddle leading to quite a loud ‘interaction’ between an overzealous fan & a security guard. However this did not distract Webster from his task as he called the players in fro some final instructions before the fourth quarter began. He implored them to “Have a f&cking go” as they had shown “f&cking nothing” so far today and told them to “F*ck that fighting shit off” The words must have inspired the Blues as they kicked 7 goals in the last quarter. Werribee still won by 48 points though.

The Quote

“it’s probably also a touch deflating on an opposition when they’ve done all this work and kick a goal and there’s only 50 or so people clapping.”
Cameron Ling in The Age on what it might be like for Geelong’s opponents at Kardinia Park.


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Ross Slater

Blogging about the important things - AFL and cricket

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