Luke Butterworth Diary 10/11

Dear Diary,

Still haven’t got a Big Bash contract.

Still haven’t heard from Pickers.

He said he’d get me a Big Bash contract for BBL|02 when I signed with his management group last week. ” No sweat champ, leave it to me – I’m not a former carpet salesman for nothing” were his exact words which didn’t instill great confidence in me. The rest of the converstation went something like this.

Liam Pickering: “I’ve had my mate Terry Wallace run his trained eye over the BBL lists, he says there’s lots of spots up for  grabs if your close to or the wrong side of 40 and have played for Australia – how old are you?”

Me: “27”

LP: “Hmmm, yeah, right.  Terry is fucking useless. I had a look over the lists as well and Jesus Christ the Thunder and Renegades look shit!! I could have got a game for them and I only played at North Melbourne and averaged 27 in 10 years.”

“Oh shit Renegades, probably shouldn’t have pissed on them seeing as I’m on the board. Fuck it. Yeah well maybe I should excuse myself from managing cricketers If I’m on the board of one of the Big Bash clubs. Fuck it. Haha Tread carefully Liam Pickering tread very carefully – conflict of interest. Haha, fuck off Caro I’ll manage players and do media if I want! And now I’m on a club board! Haha, Caro ‘s head would be spinning if she knew anything about cricket.”

Me: “So have you got me a contract?”

“Haha look at that bowling attack. I’d face Herrick, Drew and Sheridan without a thigh guard. Haha pop guns! Haha terrible! Id face ’em without a helmet, I’d face em without pads even. Fuck I’d face the lot of em in just a jockstrap and a box. What was that?”

Me: “Have you got me a Big Bash contract?”

“Ahhh leave it with me champ. It’ll be easy pal, don’t worry about it, old mate Picks is on the case. Did I ever tell you about how I use to sell carpets? What sort of underlay do you have at your place?”

Me: “Umm, I  don’t know”

“Never mind, did I tell you about how I played cricket at North Meloburne for 10 years. Gee they were great times, we didn’t win many flags, well we didn’t win any and we didn’t win many games either but gee we had a great bunch of fellas and we had some great times ‘ll never forget. Now what was that tall blokes name ….. oh gee …. did he bat or bowl … gee I can’t remember ….. but he use to do that thing, yeah that thing with his pad, no helmet…. How old did you say you were?”

Me: “27”

LP: “Oh right ….. And have you played for Australia? A tour match or Australia A even?”

Me: “No”

LP: “Gotta go mate, gotta see a bloke about a pub in a dog….. I mean, I mean…  I’m at Buddy’s house with Hutchy. See ya”

 

*Sigh*

 

Buttsy out.

 

 

 

 

 

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Ross Slater

Blogging about the important things - AFL and cricket

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